The Macedonian Tendency: Gregg Easterbrook Solves the "Macedonian Name" Issue

Friday, August 19, 2011

Gregg Easterbrook Solves the "Macedonian Name" Issue

David Edenden

The Republic of Macedonia is located under the "T's" in the UN seating plan. 

My suggestion had been to change it to "A Republic of Macedonia", so we would be the first! Greg Easterbrook has a few more funny suggestions from a few years back. 

Greg ... if you wan a good laugh ... check this out.
Skopje is Beautiful in the Spring:December 30, 2008
Gregg Easterbrook
Greece has vetoed the entrance into NATO of the nation that calls itself the Republic of Macedonia, that the United Nations calls the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia and that Greece refuses to recognize diplomatically. Greece insists that, in the U.N. General Assembly, the delegate from the Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia not be seated under the letter "M." I am not kidding -- Greece filed an objection to letter "M" seating. The nation in question then refused to be seated under the letter "F," insisting Former is not a formal part of its name. Provisionally, the nation is seated at the United Nations next to Thailand under the letter "T," using the "The" for seating purposes -- as if the country's name were The [Disputed Word] Yugoslav Republic of [Disputed Word]. (Note: The United Nations has a marketing slogan, see it by rolling over a language choice. ) The issue is expected to heat up soon, as the "The" nation applies for entry into the European Union. A Christmas Day news report, datelined Gostivar: "Macedonian President Branko Crvenkovski believes accepting a geographical term for the name of Macedonia is a partial compromise in the name dispute with Greece."
[+] EnlargeVardar RiverAP Photo/Boris Grdanoski
Macedonians swim in the scenic Vardar in The (Disputed Word) Yugoslav Republic of (Disputed Word).
This absurd dispute is a small piece of a quarrel that arose because Greece asserts that the term Macedonia is historically Hellenic, though the Macedonians themselves are Slavs and nearly all of them live in the "The" country, whose capital is, of course, Skopje. Greece contends that it will continue to veto everything having to do with the new nation, which formed in 1991 during the collapse of Yugoslavia, until such a time when it might pick a name that does not contain the word Macedonia. But Greece, titles cannot be copyrighted! Anyone may publish a book called "Gone With the Wind." Any country can call itself France, though it's not clear what the incentive would be. In the spirit of international compromise, TMQ offers these alternate names for the new nation: 
• The Republic Formerly Known As Prince.
• Steve. Wouldn't Steve be a cool name for a nation?
• An Obscure, Landlocked Mountainous Region Along the Vardar River.
• Emmanuelle. Really sexy woman's name might increase tourism.
• ROM. Subliminally suggests Republic of Macedonia, but the official name would be just initials -- like KFC -- thus frustrating Greece's objection.
• Skopje and So Much More!
• The Greatest Nation in Human History. This would force the United Nations to say, "Now we will hear from the delegate representing The Greatest Nation in Human History."
• The United States of America.
Leading national brand in the world, yet cannot be copyrighted.

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